I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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