Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
