I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
