it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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