Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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