I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize