You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
