Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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