Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You're a waste of cheezeits
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
