Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
