sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize