There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
