so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I could fuck to npr.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
