Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
