I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
