You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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