he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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