he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
