I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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