Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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