It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
