I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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