Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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