Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
