If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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