I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
