that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
