You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
