He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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