i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
