I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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