I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm passing your future prison.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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