i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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