She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
