I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
