All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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