Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
