How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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