Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
