My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
