Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
