so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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