i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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