shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
