Having a random hookup so left but love u
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
