I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
