What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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