Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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