You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
