Do you still have your period?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
