Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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