oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
