I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
