I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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