I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
