So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
