i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
